Suit Up

Here we are a week in and it is incredible how far we've come, what we've already learned, and what the Lord is already doing! It's simply amazing. 

I struggle now even to find a starting place on how to debrief the past week. All but one mission trip I've been on in the past would have already been over and done with and I'd be at home by now...back to reality. However, here we are with one week down and 7 more to go. Our team has already talked about how our mindset has changed from '8 full weeks of ministry' to 'ONLY 8 weeks left of ministry'. Our urgency is still at charge and we still feel a dire need to live missionally in every action taken, word spoken, thought had, and day lived. 

Along with the Lord blessing us with a mindset of urgency, He's given us a whole new set of eyes and ears to see the people around us. Obviously if you've read Luke's blog from yesterday, we're seeing people, areas, lifestyles, and groups of people that we're not used to or that are in some serious need of the love of Christ in their lives. The same rings true for the Santa Monica team. The 6 of us total feel, see, hear, sense and just know that the love of the Lord is what these people here need and we are urgent to lead them to it!

Today was only a reminder of the urgency we must live with, new set of eyes and ears, and ultimately how when the Light is taken into the Darkness, the Darkness pushes back. 

This morning we woke up, had breakfast and went on a new adventure. We, the team, like to think it was an original thought...so we're coining the term of Prayer Cycling. Basically what we did was we took the 6 of us into the two areas, Venice and Santa Monica, and spent a couple of hours riding and walking around in prayer for the areas, people and opportunities that the Lord will present us with. 

While we were Prayer Cycling (see, it has a ring to it!) we met a guy named Kurt. He was with an AIDs organization and was in the Promenade trying to raise funds to sponsor a trip to the Sudan area to drop off about $32 million worth of supplies for people suffering from AIDs. While the team felt compelled to give, we'd not been expecting to donate money and none of us had anything to donate to him. But, what he donated to us was huge. We got to talking and told him where we'd come from and what we were here for (he was a Christian, so we felt comfortable telling him the whole reason we're here). He gave us a quick sermon that changed each of us on the spot. It's a little funny, but it works. He told us about the H.O.L.Y B.I.B.L.E, which stands for He Only Left You Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. From there, it transitioned to a warning that when light goes into darkness, forces we can't explain push back and that every morning before we go out to be the Salt and Light, we should suit up with the armor of God. As Kurt was reminding us of this valuable lesson I thought to myself "What kind of leader am I!? We haven't even thought about the Suit of Armor in our conversations of spiritual warfare!" 

After this great reminder and advice, we finished up our prayer cycling journey and my mind began to race and wonder. My thoughts lead me to thinking about how I'd failed the Lord in I know at least two opportunities He had given me. I failed them because of my attitude and my doubts in my abilities as a witness. These thoughts of failure pondered and stayed there for a while today.

After prayer cycling, we came back and got showers and piled into the Knapp Mobile (the name of our car, which was graciously lent to us by Ted Knapp). We headed to the college campus of UCLA. Here, we walked around the area, had lunch and got a feel for what the students, ministry possibilities and community were like on campus. It was an awesome site to see such a huge, beautiful campus full of people on a day where classes hadn't even yet started. So, the team is excited about the possibilities to come at UCLA!

About halfway through the tour of UCLA, the team hit the same roadblock it has been hitting every day around 3pm. For the first week of LA, we've been given so much new information, experienced so many new things, met so many new people, learned so much, though in new ways, been taken out of our comfort zones, and on top of all that...we've been given a notebook and another book of stuff to do in our "down" time. Well, around 3pm every day our down time consists of about an hour or so nap so that we're not moping around in Venice or Santa Monica and completely useless. So, we hit the 3 o'clock dead zone and everyone started getting cranky with each other, frustrations rose (as they do most days around that time) and tensions started to mount. We got back to the church, all went to our beds and took some 'me' time. I chose to hop on the bike and ride down to a coffee shop about a mile away.

When I got to the coffee shop, I realized how drained I was, how tired I was of the team, how frustrated I was with myself for missing out on those two opportunities the Lord had clearly given me, and how drained spiritually I was. I'd gone almost the whole week without opening my bible more than a couple times. It just seemed that every time I opened my bible, I was too drained to even try and take in anything new that might cause in-depth thinking. This realization today at Starbucks began to bother me...and bother me A LOT! 

So, I opened my bible and just began to read. I read through Colossians, Ephesians, Philippians, and some of Galatians. I wasn't trying to power read and be super religious, I just wanted to find myself engulfed in the word of God for a little while. So, I found comfort in just reading. I wasn't reading it too deeply or for any new, great knowledge...but just reading to find comfort in my Maker's arms again. As I began to read, my mind and some scripture lead me to my frustrations. Perhaps I hadn't been maximizing all the blessings the Lord had given me so far!? 

For example:

The Lord has blessed me with 5 amazing, Godly individuals surrounding me who want nothing more than to see this area enter into the Kingdom of God! They've been such an encouragement and it's been a true blessing to see how all 5 of them have grown in such big ways!! Kelsey and Storm are getting more and more comfortable talking to people they've never met and more and more comfortable 'evangelizing' even when they thought they couldn't. They're so humble about it and see so much growth, but I don't think they realize how much guts they have doing what they're already doing! Storm, who was scared to death of evangelism a week ago today, is already living life and becoming a part of a Chi Kong Master's life, who is all about the chi! Kelsey is continually amazing me as she finds more and more comfort in starting conversations with people. Bruce and Thomas are growing vastly as well. They're the jokesters of the team for sure, and offer so much to the team...but I don't think they realize just how much. I've seen Thomas and Bruce both take on this maturity that I've never seen them have before. They're genuinely loving and caring for these people out here and are 100% genuine in their thoughts, input to the group, and their ministry out here in LA! It's amazing! And Luke, one who is never good at set scheduling, book work, or anything of the like (he'll admit this...so I'm not telling you anything he wouldn't)  has become so well adjusted to the schedule we've had this past week. He's taking the days as they come and is doing great things. He's also an incredible voice and leader for the Venice team. What he, Thomas and Storm have done in that area already is simply incredible!

So, the Lord's blessed me with these amazing 5 people to be here with...yet over the past few days, the dynamic of the team have been weird. There's been divisions and frustrations and joking (but in reality, it's serious) that have added to the tensions. I have found myself feeling left out, secluded and set a part from the group. So, as I was reading and thinking and processing today in Starbucks about all of this, something that Luke said and something that Kurt said this morning hit me.

About 3 or 4 days ago, Luke and I were talking and he said "You know, I can already tell how Satan is going to attack us. One, our doubting and two, our team dynamics." Then, I thought about Kurt who said "Suit up, because forces you can't imagine and haven't seen before are going to be giving you pushback." Then...it clicked for me today. Satan has been at work in me already. I've contributed to the dynamics of the group and I have let my doubts talk me out of seizing opportunities the Lord was already giving me. So, I processed and thought some more on those things for a while.

After my time at the coffee shop, I came back feeling refreshed. We had dinner as a team and then Luke, Bruce and I headed to Target (we drink a lot of water and Dr. Pepper!). After Target, we had probably what I would say as the best team-time yet.

We got in, and I read a passage from Ephesians 5 and 6. It talked about how we're to separate ourselves from the ways of darkness and are to live as the Light. Then, we talked about the armor of God. I confessed to the group my shortcomings and doubts and how I was feeling about the group dynamics. From there, it was as if God himself showed up. I was worried about this conversation, but knew it had to happen so I'd been in prayer about it. Well, the Lord took it away and amazed me once again. I was not the only one in the group feeling and sensing these self doubts or group tensions. From there, we talked it out and let the conversation end on a high note. We're all now on the same page in terms of dynamics and are much more aware of how each other is feeling, what causes those feelings/dynamics, and what are some ways to avoid them! We discussed new ways to do ministry and how to make sure we have both our down time, and our rejuvenating with the Spirit time.

After this awesome conversation, the team talked about the previous week, what it was looking like and some positive things and some suggestions we would have for the NAMB people tomorrow. (By the way, the NAMB people are coming tomorrow to check in on us). From there...we took a break, goofed off and laughed and then got back to work debriefing today (UCLA/Prayer Cycling) and preparing for tomorrow with the NAMB guys. 

Now, here we are in the guys room, chatting, laughing and taking in all that the Lord has for us. It's been great tonight...reconnecting with the team, pushing Satan back and letting him know that he can try his darndest, but we will stay aware and united for the sake of bringing the Kingdom to Venice & Santa Monica! The group is back together, the tensions are gone and we're rip roaring and ready to go for the next 7 weeks. We're dressed and ready in the Armor and prepare now more than we were 7 days ago to take on Satan full force in whatever ways he can think of. Satan doesn't stand a chance with God on our side and with the 5 other individuals here with me!

So, today offered a lot. A new look into a new area (UCLA), a new prayer method (Prayer Cycling) and some moving forward to what is to come (forgetting tensions and doubts from the past). I'm reminded of where in Philippians where Paul says "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." 

Though Satan has buffeted and trials have come, our team is pressing on toward the goal of bringing the Kingdom. We will not waver in the face of these doubts, trials and temptations...instead we will recall the days like today, where frustrations were high and yet the Lord prevailed. We will recall the days that weren't so great, but we persevered. 

Some things to pray for:

1 - Team Unity: That the Lord would continue to bless us with amazing community and honesty with one another.

2 - Team doubts: That we will boldly go where the Lord leads us, regardless of what the costs may be.

3 - Venice

4 - Santa Monica

5 - Continued rest and rejuvenation: That the team would be able to find rest in the Lord when we're drained, especially when we're tired and can't seem to push on. Also, that we would be committed and faithful to our daily walks with the Lord in these upcoming 7 weeks, rejuvenating us spiritually!