It's been quite the intense past week or so. With the group dynamics constantly shuffling, the ministry getting tougher and more intense and the thoughts of the final two weeks here...it hardly seems like we have time to think about what's been going on out here.
So, here's my attempt at that. I guess the one big thing that has amazed me out here is how much my FAITH has been tested. I knew coming into this process that this was going to be pretty intense and I would more than likely be stretched out of my comfort zones, but I never expected to find myself questioning my faith, why I believe what I believe and if I even still believe it all.
Bruce and I had coffee with Jeff the other day and it was the most intense two hour conversation I've had in about a year or so. Bruce and I were on the receiving end of about every question you could think of for a Christian. We were asked about Heaven, the sovereignty of Christ, if Christ was the only way, we shared our faith stories...we were grilled. Jeff wanted to know everything he could about our faith stories and why we had faith in them, how we found faith in Christ in them, and how we knew whether or not we were actually believing in something real. It was intense.
Out here in LA most people are pretty self-motivated (motivated for themselves) and it's been difficult starting the spiritual conversations. But, once we've gotten into them, we've found it a lot easier to keep them going. After all, almost everyone we've met (at least for me) believes that any road that makes you happy and leads you to love and being a good person to other people will get you to God. Jeff is the same way. He's a man who goes on spiritual journeys and meditation trips all across the world, just to get in-tune with that 'Oneness' or 'juice' from God. My heart breaks for Jeff, a man who thinks that Christ just isn't enough. Yes, he thinks he's good enough for me and Bruce. But, he also thinks there's tons of other ways to get to God.
In fact, not only does my heart break for the Jeffs of this world, but for everyone who thinks that Christ isn't enough. Words can't express how saddened I am by something like that. The more I think of it, the more I my heart breaks for those that can't get their minds around the fact that faith is as simple as Christ and there's nothing else they need. Just Christ...that's it!
So, I think that's been our job out here as missionaries and as Christians all across this world. Those of you that are reading, its your job too. We're called to preach the gospel of Christ and only Christ. For it alone is all that this world needs. Perhaps we should stop focusing, as a body of Christians, on how best to reach the world with catchy t-shirts, music, books, language, and so on and focus solely on taking the story of Christ to this world. Sure, it'll call for some creativity and ingenuity, but fortunately for us the Creator of the universe is alive in us through the Spirit of Christ!!!
So yeah, that's one way my faith has been tested. I've been pushed to think about over and over again, is Christ really all I need in my life and is He really the ONLY thing I need in life. Each time I question it, I get the same answer. A low, hushed 'yes' that rises to a loud, rejoicing cry of 'YES!'. Indeed, Christ is all we need and all that this world needs.
Secondly, my faith has been tested in ways that God says he's going to move. I've seen God move before, and I've seen Him do some awesome things in the past through people around me and their ministries. What I haven't seen or experienced before is the deafening command I hear each morning I wake up. "Josh, go and I will bless."
Each day on the field has been yet another reminder of how faithful the Lord is and another example of God blessing the faithful. I've seen some of my teammates stretched beyond their comfort zones and then some, and yet God has yet to withhold his blessings on their efforts. It's simply awesome.
While I know God is faithful in blessing our efforts, still myself and I'm sure others on our team have a hard time going out faithfully. We know the Lord will bless us, but sometimes our heart just isn't in it. And each time I catch myself with my heart and mind in other places than the field, the Lord sends a simple reminder (be it a thought, a conversation, etc.) to encourage me to bring my heart and mind back to the mission field that I'm currently on.
I am finding myself living more and more by Hebrews 11:1. When Jeff asked Bruce and I the purpose of our faith, stories and what Christianity was to us. We both had few words. All we could say was its our reason for being, our reason for living, and our reason to get up in the morning. No, we can't always see what God's doing and we can't always see what God has done in our lives at the time...but we have faith that God is there. We have faith that Christ is sufficient enough for us. We have faith that Christ is moving and working in the ways we can see and even more so in the ways we cannot see.